Top 10 Ways To Keep Your Job in a Recession

1) Make it a point to show up to the office before noon if you're scheduled to come in at 9 a.m.

2) Don't call your boss a fag in front of the chick he's trying to bang.

3) Give your boss a blow-gee (pronounced blow-g) if you have large tits or he's a homosexual.

4) Don't pull your weiner out at the company picnic unless you absolutely have to.

5) Don't make Asian, fat, Jewish, or Polak jokes if your boss is a fat, Asian, Jewish Polak.

6) Don't leave a steaming pile of shit on your boss's desk after hours if you know there are cameras in the building.

7) Do some magic tricks in the office throughout the day. Your boss won't want to fire you if he thinks you're a sorcerer.

8) If your boss is a lady, be consistent about complementing her on her perky breasts and rock hard ass.

9) If someone confronts you for stealing something, blame it on "those faggots in accounting" with all their accounting tricks.

10) If you must scratch your testicles in the office, do it over the pants.