Why Budget Deficits and the National Debt Don't Matter

There's been a lot of talk lately about irresponsibility on the part of Americans as well as the heavily indebted U.S. government. I'm here to tell you how we can fix this mess with no headaches and absolutely no discomfort on our part- we'll just casually slip it into the unsuspecting, tea-sipping asses of the Asian populace. In other words, fuck the Orientals out of their money. There, I said it. I know it's probably not the most politically correct suggestion, but who won the war you yellow motherfuckers? Not only that, but who would win the war today if we had to do it again? Please...

If I were the President I'd instruct the Treasury and Federal Reserve to print $3 trillion worth of bills with my big hairy ass where the President's face goes, and then I'd drop the bills from helicopters and airplanes all over the 38th parallel. I can just imagine the calls from Japan's Prime Minister and China's Communist Party dictator:

- "Yes?"

- "Ching-chong chow!!!"

- "Look Mr. Miyagi, we paid you back and America doesn't need anymore of your chicken teriyaki or Thai doughnuts, so unless you have something relevant to add to this discussion, our conversation is over. Cobra Kai bitches!"

Problem solved.